2.A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
3.Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects
4.It you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.>>> funny quotes and sayings about life to have a best day.
5.It is incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense.
6.If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life.>>> short funny quotes about life everyday for you.
7.As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens
8.Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
9.I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.
10.Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
11.The obscure we see eventually, the completely apparent takes a little longer.
12.Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings cannot be wrong.
13.Chism's Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
14.Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.
15.A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.
16.The sun goes down just when you need it the most.
17.People who think they know everything upset those of us who do.
18.Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit
19.I would give $1000 to be a millionaire.
20.Everyone hits a brick wall now and then, the trick is not to do it with your head.
21.The chief cause of problems is solutions.
22.The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don't.
23.For every idiot proof system devised, a new, improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
24.Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average.
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